John Gottman’s book “The Relationship Cure” is a thorough manual for enhancing and fortifying all kinds of relationships, from marriage and family to friendships. Dr. Gottman gives helpful counsel and a five-step method to help readers develop better, more satisfying relationships with the people in their life, drawing on years of study in doing so.
Introducing the fundamental unit of emotional connection he calls the “emotional bid,” Dr. Gottman shows that all good relationships are built through a process of making and receiving successful bids.
Make Emotional Bids: Emotional bids are small gestures or attempts to connect with others emotionally. Responding positively to these bids can strengthen your relationships.
Turn Towards Each Other: Instead of turning away or turning against your partner, turn towards them when they reach out. This helps build emotional connection and trust.
Build Love Maps: Develop a detailed mental map of your partner’s world, including their likes, dislikes, hopes, and fears. This fosters understanding and empathy.
Create Shared Meaning: Work together to create a shared sense of purpose and meaning in your relationship. This can involve shared goals, values, and rituals.
Manage Conflict Constructively: Learn to handle conflicts in a way that promotes resolution and growth rather than causing harm. This involves techniques like softening your startup, learning to repair and de-escalate conflicts, and being willing to compromise.
- Source: gottman.com, medium.com